Gwen had never felt so confused before that; it was like being torn apart. She couldn’t understand what was happening inside her. Everything was fine before that: being with Arthur, sneaking out of the city to take long walks with him - it was nice. It made her believe she could have forgotten Lancelot, that she could have got over the fact that he had gone. No, she couldn’t.
He came back to Camelot to help Arthur, now he was living there as knight he had always wanted to be. His presence made Gwen realize that she hadn’t forgot anything about him; her feelings for him that she had buried into the innermost part of her soul started waking up again, even though they hadn’t even spoken yet. She wanted to, but she didn’t dare it, being afraid that her feelings would take her whole and she would do something that both of them could regret later. She was scared by her own feelings, by discovering that what she had thought to be disappeared was still there, stronger than ever. However, it wasn’t right since she was with Arthur now. She noticed her feelings for him were changing. She couldn’t really define how, she just felt it and it made her afraid of what would happen if he found it out. She didn’t want to hurt him, nor Lancelot. In order to avoid this, she tried to spend less time with both of them, not being in their sight, working in other parts of the castle where they didn’t go. That day, a sunny, but windy one she was taking a huge basket of clothes to the laundry, when he heard Arthur’s voice from the other end of the corridor. She wanted to run away, but she knew he had already noticed her.